Spirit of Christmas Past

They have come close to equalling, but Matt Stone and Trey Parker have never surpassed the freshness of thought and social satire of the first pilot of South Park,  an animated greeting card they made for a Hollywood producer in 1995 and which led to the series debut two years later. Titled The Spirit of Christmas it featured a fight to the finish between the Prince of Peace and Santa Clause in echoes of this town ain’t big enough for the both of us. Quite amusing is the large group of rats with antlers.

(Jesus vs. Santa)

Kyle: Don’t you oppress me, fat boy!

Cartman: Don’t call me fat, butt-fucker!

Kyle: Then don’t belittle my people, you fucking fat-ass!

Cartman: GOD DAMN IT DON’T CALL ME FAT YOU BUTT-FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!

 

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Jesus: Behold my glory.

Stan: Holy shit, it’s Jesus!

Cartman: What are you doing in South Park, Jesus?

Jesus: I come seeking… retribution.

Stan: [gasps] He’s come to kill you ’cause you’re Jewish, Kyle!

Kyle: Oh, fuck! I’m sorry, Jesus! Don’t kill me!

Jesus: Nay, fear not. I love all my children.

Kyle: Whew.

Jesus: Tomorrow is my birthday, yet all is not right.

Stan: Your birthday is on Christmas? That sucks, dude!

Jesus: I must find a place called… the mall.

Kyle: Well, we can take you to the mall, Jesus.

Stan: Yeah! It’s over this way!

Cartman: Ow! Goddamn it! You stepped on my foot, you pig-fucker!

Stan: Dude! Don’t say pig-fucker in front of Jesus!

Cartman: Ah, fuck you!

Jesus: Boys, help me put an end to him once and for all.

Santa: No, boys, help me. So that I can put an end to him.

Jesus: God is watching you boys. You know who to help.