CARDINAL RULE: DON'T GET CAUGHT PETTING CRABS

The party’s over
It’s time to call it a day
They’ve burst your
pretty balloon

And taken the moon away
It’s time to wind up

The masquerade
Just make your mind up

The piper must be paid

The party’s over
The candles flicker and dim
You danced and dreamed
through the night
It seemed to be right
Just being with him
Now you must wake up
All dreams must end
Take off your makeup
The party’s over
It’s all over

My friend

You danced and dreamed
through the night
It seemed to be right

Just being with him
Now you must wake up
All dreams must end
Take off your makeup
The party’s over
It’s all over ( The Party’s Over. Shirley Bassey )

Conrad Black. Andy Warhol

”It was a spectacular fall from grace for Lord and Lady Black, a couple who once had the gall to attend a party at Kensington Palace dressed as the power-crazed Cardinal Richelieu and Marie Antoinette, the most hated woman in pre-revolutionary France. As Lady Black, Amiel’s ostentation was free to run wild. She once admitted to American Vogue that her extravagance knew “no bounds” and she would think little of hopping on a private Gulfstream jet to Paris for an afternoon’s shopping. The Canadian media rapidly dubbed her “Attila the Honey” and her enemies dismissed her as a ruthless social climber, whose every action was shot through with a silken thread of hauteur.”

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Cardinal Richelieu as portrayed by one of his favorite painters Philippe de Champaigne.

The now notorious photo,taken as they swept into an 18th-century-style ball at Kensington Palace for Lord Frederick Windsor’s birthday on July 1, 2000,  represented everything that was flamboyant, pompous and arrogant about the Press baron and his glamorous columnist second wife. Not surprisingly, comparisons were made with their fabulously extravagant lifestyle and those of Marie “let them eat cake” Antoinette and the scheming Richelieu.

“He wanted to be the hero, but for some reason he has always wanted to be the dying hero. He has this very melancholy view,” said George Tombs, the author of a new Canadian biography entitled Robber Baron: Lord Black of Crossharbour. “He has always tried to portray himself as a grandiose, dramatic figure, but very ofen these comparisons have been to people who lost out,” Mr Tombs said. “Having seen him at the trial, the only Shakespearean character I can compare him to is Richard III, the hunchbacked Machiavellian who has betrayed everyone and was betrayed himself at the end. All he can do is cry desperately, ‘A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!’ ”

''In a Newsnight interview earlier this week, Lord Black tried to dismiss his outfit, saying it was "the only one available at the costumier the day before the party" and insisted that he certainly wasn't dressed as the power-crazed Richelieu. He added that, rather than Marie Antoinette, Barbara - famous for her hundreds of pairs of Manolo Blahnik shoes and penchant for gold-plated loos - was dressed as a lowly barmaid. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/

But who exactly was Cardinal Richelieu? A  historian and biographer  like Black could surely have justified his choice of icon. Richelieu was a supreme Machiavellian; but he not only made France the greatest nation in the West, but also fostered the flowering of French genius. Today, the political dominance is long gone, but the French culture still holds high sway. He brought to politics a rare and comprehensive vision, believing that all the useful and beneficial activities of men, and of Frenchmen especially, could be furthered and made more fruitful by a strong state and an intelligent use of power. In his ruthlessness toward opponents, his development of a secret information service, and his manipulation of the press, he foreshadowed the modern dictators.

Yet his ultimate goal had a generous grandeur: he wanted to see France peaceful and prosperous, great in all the creative arts, leading a dominated and pacified Europe. In his childhood, France was torn by civil war, and during almost the whole of his life destructive conflicts raged in Europe. It is not surprising therefore, that he saw the dominion of a strong and united state as the obvious solution and had no sympathy with individuals or minorities who threatened its power. But the state was not an end in itself; nor was war its principal object. It was to him the instrument through which men could fulfill themselves in peace and safety.

( Charleton Heston ) ''His best scene is the one between him and Faye Dunaway as Milady de Winter. Milady has just declared her intention to get her revenge upon D'Artagnan and Heston's Richelieu cannot hide his disgust---not at her wish to kill the young musketeer, at her very unprofessional emotion. His only interest in her is as a professional spy and assassin and she's insisting that he see her as a human being and to great men like Richelieu mere human beings are of no use or importance.''

The exaggerated image of Richelieu as a sinister figure was later popularized by the historical novels of Alexandre Dumas and Alfred de Vigny. It was not all invention. But, in a time when plots and assassinations in politics were the norm, his precautions were hardly excessive. There was, above all, nothing occult about the power of Richelieu. It was founded on his altogether exceptional gifts. He had an intellect of marvelous clarity and scope. He was calculating and secretive; he was adept at the art of misleading his enemies when the occasion arose. But these were not the most important things about him. He had, above all, a capacity to remember a vast mass of detailed information and to apply his knowledge at the right moment and in the right way to the unfolding situation. As proof, nothing reveals his political genius more strikingly than the contrast between the condition of France when he first came to power and the condition of France when he died eighteen years later. France was choked by internal disorder and external threats only to be transformed through political and military achievement.

Guiseppe Signorini

…”What struck me then was the intensity of his enthusiasms. Black was a hero worshipper with a vengeance. Black worshipped Margaret Thatcher and had nothing but contempt for Pierre Trudeau. Brian Mulroney’s agenda pleased Black but Mulroney the man left him cold. Chrétien in particular was contemptible in Black’s eyes. Black saw in Chrétien only an ignorant peasant with no class at all who stood in the way of Black’s lordship. Like Citizen Kane, Black used his newspapers to blacken his opponent’s reputation at every twist and turn. It was Black’sNational Post that created the Shawinigate scandal. The Black press ridiculed Chrétien’s defence that he was acting as an MP in aid of a constituent. …Then there was the vulnerable side to Black no one saw until he went public with it. He admitted to having anxiety attacks on occasion and wound up as the chairman of the board of Toronto’s Clarke Institute of Psychiatry. He brought in his friend Henry Kissinger to do a fundraiser for the Clarke. But this human side didn’t placate his enemies who by now were legion.” ( Larry Zoff )….

Richelieu achieved a great expansion in all the arts of civilization. In Paris and the great provincial cities new houses and churches were being built. A flourishing school of painting had its center in Paris. The Academy had been founded to encourage literature. The French drama, stimulated and inspired by the personal encouragement of the Cardinal, was gaining a reputation soon to be unrivaled in Europe. The French ”Salon” , that fruitful invention of polite society to which the intellectual life of France owes so much, was started by Madame de Rambouillet shortly before the rise of Richelieu; but it was under his ministry that the idea developed and spread and became an established part of the cultural scene. He found and used other painters, writers and architects in the same manner.

Champaigne.1640. painted at the rquest of the sculptor Mocchi who was thus enabled to make a bust of Richelieu in Rome while the subject remained in Paris.

Louis XIII has often been represented as a weak man who fell under the spell of Richelieu and could not escape. The king was not weak; he was a sensitive, sad, and unhappy man, often sick, often in pain. But he recognized the transcendent ability of his great minister and actively co-operated with him. Richelieu for his part was a devoted subject, zealous servant who was sincerely attached to Louis. There was a mutual affection and respect ; men who saw themselves as working together for the glory of France.

However, Barbara Amiel, as Marie-Antoinette may be a more stickier wicket.Although Cardinal Richelieu’s sex life appeared to be restrained,  it is unlikely even he could have resisted the volatile bombshell in  Barbara Amiel, a basically likable and good person, though perhaps better handled in small and extra-small doses…Even her allies admit that she could be difficult to warm to. Sarah Sands, the former editor of the Sunday Telegraph, remembers talking to Amiel about trying to hire a new comment editor “and she said that she too had been having troubles with the butler”.

The young Queen of France found pleasure in shopping, gambling and throwing fun costume parties. She also loved opera and performing plays with her friends. Night time parties in the gardens were always a welcomed event!  To some, it does seem that Amiel’s lust for wealth and power was historically inspired;  driven by a determination never to slip back into the instability of her childhood. Her parents divorced when she was eight. Three years later, her mother remarried a Canadian draughtsman and the couple emigrated to Ontario. In her autobiography, called ”Confessions”, which has shades of Sarah Palin,  Amiel recalls how relations with her mother were so strained she was thrown out of the family home at the age of  fourteen and forced to fend for herself in unsavoury boarding houses populated by part-time prostitutes. A year later, the news came from England that her father had committed suicide; his was the only picture she had always kept on view in her bedroom.

'' An exclusive exhibition at San Francisco’s Legion of Honor uses the contents of the Petit Trianon, Marie-Antoinette’s private residence, to look behind the 200-year-old myths and discover concrete evidence of the personal preferences of Marie-Antoinette and how they led to the creation of some of the finest decorative arts of the 18th century.''

“I always used to say to Conrad, no matter how grand and important we get, we all look deeply ridiculous in the bath,” says one former colleague. “Barbara came along and said, ‘Conrad, you can do whatever you want.’ Which was disastrous advice. She’s a highly intelligent, remarkable woman but I don’t think that Conrad would have ended up in jail had it not been for her influence. If he had stuck to being a pretty rich newspaper proprietor, he would’ve been OK. But he tried to play out of his league, pursuing wealth that was not obtainable by reasonable means. When he met Barbara he began to aspire to the lifestyle of the super-rich.”

The irony is that as a newspaper proprietor, Black was successful and moderately well-liked. He understood the need to defend his editors and give them necessary financial backing but he also appreciated the benefits of remaining at arm’s length. Dominic Lawson, the newspaper columnist and former editor of the Sunday Telegraph, recalls an incident in 1990 when Black visited the offices of the Spectator – which Lawson then edited – and said: “I may from time to time submit articles for your leader page.” Lawson responded by pointing at his wastepaper bin: “Yes, Conrad, and I’ve always got somewhere to put them.” Black had the grace to laugh – from then on, if he disagreed with an editorial line, he tended to write a letter for publication.”

''Marie Antoinette (Sofia Coppola, 2006) Famously booed at Cannes, and proving a momentary millstone for wonder girl auteur Sofia Coppola, Marie Antoinette was still the most inventive and allusive of the decade’s prolific biopics, mixing post-punk pop and mash-up aesthetics with a subtly smart and broad-minded study of an Enlightenment party girl, as well as confronting the vital moment, so familiar to us in this post-economic meltdown world, when the parties end.''

One of the least plausible theories to explain the Amiel phenomenon, but perhaps the most compelling involves  Marie Antoinette’s ghost. Apparently, in a house on the coast of Maine in North Edgecombe, a phantom appears decked out in a towering headdress and a satin dress. The ghost sightings have become so common that the house is called the “Marie Antoinette House”. According to legend, there was a plot to rescue Marie Antoinette in a ship called the Sally with the intention of taking her to Maine.  Apparently, the rescue attempt failed and Marie Antoinette was beheaded and never forgave the French. For this reason, Marie Antoinette’s ghost has chosen to haunt the coast of Maine.Aparently,  If you see this ghost, you must bow deeply while backing away. If you don’t follow this royal etiquette then the ghost will have a royal tantrum and will curse like a Maine fisherman with a hole in his empty net.

That Amiel is a phantom….well, perhaps, but with a little less polish over the years. Marie Antoinette was well-known for eschewing royal protocol. She got her husband to abolish the custom of dining in public daily and thought it was downright silly for her ladies-in-waiting to serve her while kneeling. And swearing would never have happened. Marie Antoinette was so polite that she apologized for accidentally stepping on her executioner’s toe. Ultimately, and most importantly, if any self-respecting ghost was to arrive in Maine, they would stick around for maybe one winter and then head straight for something like the Black mansion in Palm Beach.

Joseph Hauzinger, 1775/77, Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna. Marie Antoinette, the Archduke Maximilian and Louis XVI. This painting recalls the visit that Maximilian pay to her sister between 1775 and 1777, at the age of 17, at Versailles, in the false name of Prince Burgau: as a matter of fact the young Archduke was criticized by the French court because he was always indifferent and boring.

”I actively defended her whenever the forces of political correctness came calling, such as the time I protected her against militant groups of irate German Canadians who demanded a retraction of her use of the word “Hun” to describe the Teutonic belligerents in two world wars. Since we had both lost family members to the Holocaust, she had my public and private support. But when I suggested that she might have avoided trouble if she had referred to them as “Sauer Krauts,” she burst into tears. That was my first revelation about Ms. Amiel: she had not much of a sense of humour — and none about herself.

”While I treasured her shock value, she left me with the impression that her opinions were swallowed whole, undigested, to be defended with unsheathed claws instead of mental effort. I could never escape the feeling that, despite her claims to be a champion of unfettered freedom, she stood mainly for the greater glory of Barbara Amiel. This was an impression I shared with nearly all those who watched her scratch-and-gouge climb up the journo-celebrity ladder.

She was among the most difficult columnists Maclean’s ever had in its stable, which takes in a lot of territory. She was a misery for the editorial desk, a second-guesser of headline choices, a whining pest over each lost comma or adjective and a drama queen who made a point of milking every situation for its maximum emotional impact. She was the ultimate deadline rusher, literally staggering into the office, one hand at her afflicted head, the other tremblingly clutching her manuscript, arriving on the last minute of the last hour of her due date, dropping it on her editor’s desk in feigned relief.” ( Peter C. Newman )

Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette with their Children at Versailles October 6, 1789 by Gyula Benczur

What I didn’t count on was the extent to which Barbara would use her striking appearance to further her career. She was the sort of woman who kept spilling out of her dresses, then blamed the dresses. In her private life, she readily confessed that she had “run amok among many lives,” but desperately wanted to be taken seriously for her professional attitude. She was often the enemy of her promise. You don’t advertise your intellect by sashaying to work in thigh-high boots, a tight sweater tucked into tighter jeans held up by a heavy leather belt dripping with metal studs. She reportedly proclaimed that clothes were her “sexual armour,” which didn’t really justify her wardrobe, since it was a come-on instead of a deterrent.

“As a young editor there who she sort of liked but perceived as a lefty, I was hardly her intimate,” recalled my entertainment editor, Anne Collins, who later became publisher of Random House of Canada. “Her marriage was breaking down and she was having a hard time writing. Whenever I asked her to back up her views, she’d accuse me of trying to censor her. She was either a nervous wreck in a sweatsuit with lank hair and a codeine painkiller habit, or an imperious beauty in a floor-length mink, streaming men behind her. I never knew which Amiel would show up in my office.” ( Peter C. Newman )

The Canadian journalist George Jonas says he will never forget the first time he met Barbara Amiel. It was 1963 in an office at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC). “I was instantly struck by this extremely striking woman who, for some curious reason, seemed to walk sideways. Like an exceedingly good-looking crab.”

”When I first met Barbara Amiel she was a funny, quirky Jewish lady of the Trotskyite persuasion hanging around University College at the University of Toronto. At the time, she had a well-off boyfriend reputed to have connections to organized crime. He bought her cashmere sweaters and skirts by the dozen. Then, ever so slowly, right before our very eyes, Amiel began her Road to Damascus. Freidrich Hayek’s The Road to Serfdom replaced Trotsky’s Permanent Revolution. Soon Barbara was University College’s number 1 conservative. Her conversion was accompanied by a nose bob and chest lift, which really made her look special.

The media looked on Conrad Black’s landing of the beautiful Amiel as one more reason to dislike him. Black was a beast and didn’t deserve the beauteous Amiel. The media delighted in taking shots at them. But the marriage has been extremely successful. Lord and Lady Black are among the world’s leading couples. Lord Black and his retinue of neo-cons, Kissinger and Richard Perle, have the ears of Tony Blair and George Bush any time they want.

Lord and Lady Black lead the only pro-Israel, pro-Jewish contingent in the media today. Their philo-Semitism, love of Jews, was as reassuring as it was startling in an age of strident anti-Israel, anti-Jewish rhetoric. Unlike the British Royal Family, Lord and Lady Black were free of any lurid episodes, scandals or other forms of media titillation and vengeance. They sat on their perch, throwing crumbs to the media mob below on occasion, but above all being the essence of media themselves. ( Larry Zoff )