by Art Chantry (art@artchantry.com)
them ruskies! they always have to do things THEIR way! and then they have to go and claim they invented it! they’re almost japanese (or even british) in the competitive obsessions!
take for instance this old record cover here. when we first look at it, we see a really cool design. then we get all gooey about modernism and all that rubbish and then get all sentimental and nostalgic and design a “retro” piece for something based on this cover. happens all the time.
---AC:there were actually american records that were released that played that way too, but as novelty recordings. for instance "MAD" magazine put out a little disk that played "inside-out". also, many of those 'home recording' disks that you find play 'inside-out' like that. it was just a natural byproduct of home recording if you think on it.
yes. i DO like this cover. it’s simple, boneheaded, extremely crudely executed and then printed beautifully with technology that is maybe three steps above a potato stamp (unless the russians mastered potato stamp printing and managed to motorize it. sounds like them.) i even like the really awful color combo. it seems to be black and some sort of primary mixing color like the russian version of “rodomine red” or “magenta” (no mixing? no money!) it sorta reminds me of my entire career.
but that’s not even the end of the story. this is an 8-inch record! not a 7″ record (the ‘single”), or a 12″ record (the ‘LP’ or “long player’). it’s not even a 10-inch record, like those 78rpm discs built for hand crank victorola’s. nope, this is an 8-INCH RECORD! why? nobody knows. or cares. it just exists.
to make things worse, it’s 33 1/3rpm – just like an LP. so, it’s an 8″ 33 1/3 record. it’s even hard to say, ya know?
but wait, there’s more! it plays from the inside out. most records play when you place the needle of the tone arm on the OUTER edge of the record and it simply spirals inward toward the center. but this is just the opposite. you place the needle near the inside spindle (post) and it spirals OUTWARD toward the outer edge. when it’s done, the needle simply falls off the record!
to top it all off, you can’t understand a word they’re saying! it’s as if they’re speaking in some bizarre foreign language or something. even the lettering on the cover is so badly done that you can’t read a word of it! it’s all greek to me!!
and then they have the GALL to claim they invented it first! talk about outrageous! heck, they got everything ALL WRONG!
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