Sunday Bladerunners
Happy Thanksgiving everyone, Hope you had nice turkey dinners with all the trimmings. Get nice and plump with all of that. And of course who could forget the football games on thanksgiving weekend. Football, the sport of real men. Big muscular, sweaty men running around, hitting each other as hard as they can to catch a ball.
Which brings me to the subject at hand. Football is a sport well known for it’s violence, it isn’t uncommon for players to leave the games in an ambulance, and not come out for a surprisingly long time sometimes. And we all know how violent it really is, Football training is the second most rigorous after military training, and if you’re sitting at the sidelines of a game you can hear the players scream their pain and frustration. All of that brings me to my next point.
End Zone Celebration
The infamous endzone celebrations, or dances, or whatever the player is creative enough to do when he scores a touchdown. Creative is the perfect word to describe these, They sometimes just dance like possessed old ladies. When you see them going at it, it almost looks like some strange pagan ritual to invoke the wrath of satan on a poor old farmer next door or something creepy like that. And they have these tight uniforms too, it all adds up to something really unsettling if you think about it in the right way. And the headwear also adds some mystery to the ritual to invoke satan and bring bad luck onto their opposing team. Either that or all football players are ballet dancers too scared to come out of the closet. The facts are all there, the tight uniforms, they’re light on their feet, they run fast, and to top it off they do these elaborate dance routines whenever they get the chance.
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Football seems to me to be full of contradictions, It’s supposed to be super manly and Fueled by testosterone, and yet the players use every possible opportunity to act like women. There’s also the religious side to things. The team gets blessed by a priest before a playoff game, they say a little prayer when they huddle up, etc. and then they go out with the objective to hurt the other team as much as possible. I thought religion was against violence.
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So when you think about it, Football is just a bunch of overly muscular, overpaid, young male ballerinas in tight clothes who do pagan rituals to unleash the wrath of the devil on the opposing team when they score a touchdown. I think I like football. Even more so when you add in the part about them beating each other’s brains out to get a weirdly shaped ball from one end of the field to the other.
End Zone Celebration
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